Multiple Christmas Lists

As I get older and bring more people into my life, I run into a problem around Christmas time. I want so many things and I don't know who will or could get it for me. Such a problem to have...

If I create a list of things I would like to receive and give it to everyone I may get several of the same gifts. Then I have to return one of the gifts and that can be a hassle. Also, if I have already received the gift from another person I have to put on the fake happy face.

"Oh what?! Firefly, the complete DVD set! Man, I love this gift so much I wouldn't mind having three...which is a good thing because this is my third. Oh, it was ordered online so I have to ship it back...not a problem! I'll use my cash and ship it to get your account reimbursed. But again...great gift! Thanks!"

Some people will say to me, "Maybe you shouldn't get anything then, if you do not want to get the same gifts. It is the only way to know for sure the gift won't be repeated."

I of course reply by calling them a dumb bitch and pointing out they could always just give me money, a gift card, or something I specifically told them. Granted I have just called them a dumb bitch, so I usually get nothing from that person. You call them one harmless name...

I obviously have put some thought into this, and that is why I make multiple lists for different people. I access the giver's income, thoughtfulness, willingness to search for a gift, and overall mood when it comes to gift giving. I give different people different objects (books, electronics, random goods) per list and include the same type of gift cards on everyone's list.

Often times people will try to be creative and get me something off the list. Sometimes you get an unexpected gem and other times you get a 2 pack DVD combo: Police Academy 3/Big Mama's House 2. My mom is good at giving me a mix of gifts I want and things I didn't know I wanted. (Cologne? What is she trying to say?) She understands how my mind works and she makes every Christmas a good time.

In conclusion, I am not being greedy or ungrateful. I am being practical. I suggest every person make multiple Christmas lists.

...unless of course all you want are jars and jars of the popcorn flavored jelly belly.