Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Just Give Mel Gibson the Oscar Now

In one of the most anticipated movies since The Empire Strikes Back, The Muppets Take Manhattan, and Beverley Hills Cop 3, comes a film about a man and his...beaver?

Mel Gibson will star in The Beaver as a man coping with his problems by having a beaver hand puppet be his friend. The film reunites Jodie Foster and Gibson. This duo produced the classic poker western Maverick. The two actors chemistry was so enjoyable it is strange a follow up film has not been attempted until now.

Reportedly the film was originally going to star Steve Carell, but he backed out for unknown reasons. Once Mel Gibson came on Foster was not immediately sold. Later she was told the film would have plenty of Beaver in it. She immediately signed on.

For early pictures of Mel Gibson with his beaver click here. To refresh your Maverick memory take a look at the video below.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Lean to Me

Have you ever seen an episode of "Lie to Me" on Fox? Don't lie to me...you know you've seen it once. It stars Tim Roth as some expert on lie detection. After watching that one episode you too can be a lie detection expert.

To become an expert all you have to do is study Tim Roth. Here are some quick reminders of what Tim Roth looks like as he detect lies.

Catch it yet? Take a look again, and this time...lean your head.

There it is! You are now a lie detection expert. If you ever need to cut through some one's deception, let half of your neck go loose and tilt that head. One episode in and you and your friends are lie detection experts.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Heath Ledger Loved Showtime

Last year Heath Ledger won an Oscar for supporting actor. Tragically, he died before he received the recognition for his iconic performance. As his performance won him awards, both director Christopher Nolan and his family accept his various winnings, thanked voters, and acknowledged Ledgers colleagues. While their speeches were fine, they did leave someone out.

Thanks to the show "Dexter" (on Showtime) Ledger was able to find his inner "Joker."

If you have yet to see Season 1 of "Dexter", and plan on doing so, do not continue to read this post.

Spoiler Alert!

In Season 1 of "Dexter", the story line's villain, or antagonist, is played by Christian Camargo. On the show his name is Brian Moser a.k.a. "Rudy". While I was watching Camargo I recognized some of his devious expressions and even subtle lines. I've seen this performance before...sort of.

The line that connected Camargo to Ledger was "It's all part of the plan."

Though this line has been used before, this time the line was used in the same context by a villian playing a series of games while leaving clues to the protagonist. Go back and watch the last 2 or 3 episodes of "Dexter" and "The Dark Knight." It's subtle, but it's there.

Seeing as season 1 was aired in 2006, well before they filmed Ledger's Joker scenes (2007, the movie released in 2008), I think it is fair to speculate that Ledger could have watched Dexter. He may have liked the show already or heard of it's characters who were strange, psychotic killers. Either way, I believe he may have used some of Camargo's performance in his own.

This is nothing new. Actors will emulate or use parts of other performances to create their own original take on a character. Also, I am not implying it is wrong. If in professional sports athletes will watch other athletes to help their game. Lebron James admits to watching Kobe Bryant in hopes to improve on basketball skills. While Camargo is no Kobe, he still put on a fine display.

If Heath Ledger was still alive, and I could ask him one question, I would ask...

Do you watch Dexter?

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Every Lonely Body Part Bleeds

And as I held your head, which rolled off of your neck,
your face was still alive and unaware of the wreck.
And my last vision, your smile, insured our love would stay,
as our hearts, like the car, slowly burned away.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

See This Movie!

I just got back from a limited showing of the new Michael Moore film "Capitalism: A Love Story," and I am still in awe of Moore's film making ability. This movie cements Moore as one of the great documentary film makers of our time.

Through small private incidents to large public problems, Moore reveals the effect of Capitalism on the United States. He is able to capture heart felt raw family emotions, humor through sarcastic and real imagery, and mix them with video of experts, politicians, religious leaders, young people and old to produce a discussion. A discussion about what is right, just, and fair...to everyone.

Moore's villain, Capitalism, is lit in a light that shows it's main flaw: greed. Republicans and most certainly Democrats are not spared in this murder mystery where 95% of the population is the victim. "Capitalism" tries to expose the real Professor Plums and Col. Mustards by revealing capitalism's candlesticks. The film comes off as a "who done it?" and the film watcher leaves with the intent to bring capitalism and greed to justice.

I reccomend this film to everyone. Unless your ideology centers around greed or hate, this film is for you. I would also recommend "Sicko": Moore's documentary on the health issues in the United States (namely care and insurrance). Enjoy the trailer below.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The Forgotten Friend

One day they were made,
these long wooden things.
While sporting an eraser,
you could draw wings.

Oh everyone loved,
this brand new tool.
The pencil was the best,
it was definitely cool.

But then one day,
something new came around.
It had a ballpoint,
no eraser to be found.

It glided across paper,
with the greatest of ease.
The pencil had grip,
and screwed up the g's.

So now everyone wanted
this new pen friend.
Too bad for the pencil,
was this the end?

But some still remember
the pencil's great skill.
I use the forgotten friend,
and I always will.

I wrote this poem in a freshmen English course in high school. I turned it in rather than the actual written assignment on "Romeo and Juliet." I was given a B for at least making something up which was fun to read (as apposed to trying to fake the assignment...those always suck).

Monday, September 21, 2009

Try Asking Politely

It's football season once again and I think we all know what that means...commercials. Football games have more commercials than any other sporting event. Soccer, though annoying and bad, only has commercials during the half-way break. Baseball shows the whole half inning (excluding pitching changes) and Basketball plays until a time out is called or the end of the quarter.

Football is a game of constant stop and go. There are commercial breaks when there is a timeout, a change of possession, an injury (due to the nature of the game, there are many), the end of a quarter, a timeout, and an occasional television timeout. At a certain point the commercials start repeating...

...and the hate begins!

My current most hated commercial is actually a campaign of commercials: the Carfax commercials.

This series of commercials does not bug me because of the sheer stupidity (Car Fox), but rather because of how rude and mean the potential car buyers are. The customer basically picks a car they like and then impolitely says, "Show me the Carfax." Not, "Please, show me the Carfax" or "Would you be so kind to show me the Carfax details." They rudely, and repeatedly (this is key to my annoyance level), demand to see the Carfax like a Nazi looking for hidden Jews.

"Show me the Jews!"

"Oh, you mean the Jew Fox?"

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

The Feared Cat of Timbuktu

There once was a cat from Timbuktu.
He had ten thousand claws and 5 tails too.
He ripped through tourist from France and Spain,
and washed off their blood while he danced in the rain.

He purrs to the sound of his food while it dies,
and chopsticks his eat'ns like Miyagi with flies.
He gets stuck in trees just to waste time,
and thinks, "Meow...which is better? Lemon or lime?"

His fur balls consisted of fur and some bones.
His litter box gags skunks and is smelt through the phones.
He mocks male dogs by stooping their bitches,
and fixes his wounds with his whiskers as stitches.

I urge you! Fear the cat from Timbuktu,
because Mr. Jiggle Bottoms will gladly kill you.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Kanye "Drama Queen" West

Kanye West was on the first episode of Jay Leno tonight and I could not help but laugh. He had his head down and was in the apologetic frame of mind of a murderer or drunk driver who injured someone.

Anyone who saw what happens agrees he was an idiot, but this is exactly why we hated what he did. When he ran on stage and took the microphone, he did so because he thinks he is the most amazing artist of all time. When he apologized on Leno, he was so down on himself because he thinks everyone recognizes him as the greatest artist of all time. He let everyone down in his mind. You are why the terrorist hate us, Kanye.

The best part was when Leno asked Kanye, "What do you think she (Kanye's mother) would say about this?" Kanye sat in silence and starting getting emotional. Here's the answer...

Who cares?! What about Taylor Swift? Is Kanye's mother going to disown him? No. Who cares about what your mother thinks of you? Shouldn't you be mannered and a good person towards others, too? Maybe Kanye should think about others insteed of how his interections with others sit with his mother. How does that sit with Swift?

The truth is he is just another artist. He isn't a bad artist, just another. Most musicians come and go. Hopefully this will lead to Kanye's time passing a bit quicker.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Klondike Bars and Lover Scars

Cold on the inside and sweetness on out,
I nibble away at your sides.
Like a Reese's there is no wrong way,
devour till hunger's head hides.

Yet hunger's head is a fool in a small white room,
a room with one closet door.
There is no place to sneak or to be unseen,
nob twist to find X on floor.

Finished now, my belly does moan,
"please give me another fill!"
But I can't because alas, I destroyed my Bar,
her out and in, I did kill.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Harriet Times and Her Many Many Crimes

Harriet Times committed many many crimes,
she committed them every day.
She murdered. She stole.
(Swiped the north and south pole.)
At red lights, she just did not stay.

Harriet opened other's mail and broke into their homes,
she stayed out on the beach well past curfew.
She smuggled in Cubans, the cigars not the people,
and she also smuggled in Cubans.

That last part didn't ryme, for her most resent crime,
was stealing how this poem flows.
It also once had an ending, but that's stolen too.
How it ends, nobody...

Friday, September 11, 2009

Sir Adam Sleep and the Leaping Killer Sheep

Everyone knows that when one is tired all they need do is count some sheep.
But what do you do when one is tired and one's name is Sir Adam Sleep?

Sir Adam Sleep is a gentleman's gentleman and the pride of country and crown,
yet when Sir Adam Sleep begins to feel wheezy he dare not try to lie down.

When Sir Adam was a lad he grew up on a peaceful farm.
He once feel asleep in a field, and here is where he found harm.
He awoke to a horrible sight, a sight that rattled his will.
Larry the Lamb was jumping the carcass of Larry's latest kill.

I feel I must mention, before we go on, this lamb, named Larry by all.
Larry was the type, call him beast call him lamb, that had the killer's call.
He tore into his pals, he tore into some birds, he tore into wolves who sneaked in.
Larry the Lamb, too be quite clear, was in love with his mistress named Sin.

Now back to the sight, which Sir Adam Sleep did, on that night, dreadfully see.
His father, Maximilian Sleep, chewed to the bone and leaped by Larry, count three.

Larry leaped one.
Larry leaped two.
Larry leaped one, two, three.

...too be continued (find out what happens to Larry the Lamb and why Sir Adam Sleep was knighted)

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Don't Call it a Come Back

The Pittsburgh Steelers won the opening game of the 2009 NFL season tonight, and they already are giving Ben Roethlisberger and the Steelers undeserved praise.

"Another 4th quarter come back", the announcers declared. Really? Was it a "come back"?

The game was basically tied the whole game. First the game was tied at zero for almost 2 halves. Next the game was tied at 7. When the Steelers scored, the Tennessee Titans, Pittsburgh's opponents, scored right away. In the 4th quarter the Titans went up by 3 points with 11 minutes to play. Plenty of time for a few chances to tie the game up. A field goal with basically a whole quarter to play is very obtainable.

The announcers may claim the defenses were very stingy though and any points were hard to come by. That may fly if it wasn't the first game of the season. This is the first time the players have played a full length game. They have yet to see the 4th quarter this season. The players and defenses are some of the best in football, but they were still tired. There were points out there to be had.

Don't get me wrong. The Steelers found a way to pull the game out and get a win. Their defense was amazing, as always, and they played well for an opening game. You just can not say a team "came back" in a game that was close all game, in a game with 11 minutes to play, and in a game played at the victor's home field.

Down 14 going into the forth..."come back". Down 3...it is still either teams game.