Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Chiclee! Chiclee!

When in Mexico, There are a few things one can count on: the poverty, the heat, and the chiclets.

Oh God...the chiclets. As soon as one hits those streets of Mexico, children swarm like bums outside the post office. "Chiclee! Chiclee!", they cry out holding up their hands packed with square wrapped gum. Understand that I do not hate the children, which many (my two readers...) may have assumed that's where I was going with this rant. I hate the product selection.

Selling Orbitz you say? Some Bubbleyum? Big League Chew!? I'll take two!

A chiclet is possibly the worst gum selection a person could choose. Chiclets do not have any flavor...just different colors (like that old zebra-print gum). The pieces aren't even individually wrapped!

Oh, and who decided gum is what everyone wants in Mexico? Maybe a bottle of clean water would better fit the Mexican market. Plus, this just in! Immigration problems solved! Mexicans can come over to do the work Americans will not do and make money to buy better gum (in bulk from Costco) for their children to sell in Mexico. From the tourist to the Mexican...everyone wins. I do believe Mexican children would be sought out if they sold a higher quality gum that could last a little longer.

Speaking of "last a little longer," even Big Red would be a better choice, and Big Red is a cinnamon gum. Why, by the way, doesn't cinnamon gum taste like a cinnamon bun? Why does cinnamon taste differently depending on what it is on?

I hate inconsistent cinnamon.

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