Sunday, December 7, 2008

Monday Morning Meltdowns

Welcome to the first "Monday Morning Meltdowns". Every Monday I will submit something that has me shaking my head. These are objects, acts, and ideas that make me pull my hair out, spinning my chair, and just meltdown in general. No person looks forward to Mondays due to the work week beginning, waking up early, and NBC's "My Own Worst Enemy" starring Christian Slater. Hopefully, these Monday postings will cheer you up and help you realize that while Mondays may suck for you, at least you're not Christian Slater every day of the week.

Hollaback Girl

Here is a test for anyone to try on their own. Turn on a NBA game and close your eyes. What you are hearing is a bunch of women chanting constantly. Annoying, isn't it?

Players like Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, and Paul Pierce have altered the way scorers are now playing the game. For years, players like Michael Jordan have been driving to the basket with the intent to draw a foul. The scorers knew they simply had to get close to their opponents, near the hoop, and they could get an easy whistle. Now, players are still dribbling to the hoop strong, but they are also yelling out when they go up for a shot.
  • Lay-up in the lane - "OOOOhhh!"
  • Short jump shot - "Heeey!"
  • Ball blocked or swatted away while dribbling - "Motha f*****"
  • Time-out called - "Whaaaa!"
Players are using any excuse to yell out loud and try to draw a foul. They are thinking if they yell out, while being guarded with the ball, the referees will assume they were fouled. Are you kidding me?! Even if Shaq punches you in the face you shouldn't make a sound (unless it's a giggle if he says Kazaam while hitting you).

Watching a NBA game now is like watching a women's softball game: non-stop chanting and yelling. In softball, I don't know how the coaches can sit on the bench in tight situations and think.

This post goes out to you patient deaf softball coaches. We solute you.

1 comment:

Erin said...

You hate women. Typical.