I'm Not Going Out Like That

"I'm Not Going Out Like That" is a new series of post which will have to do with survival in one form or another. This series will also be known by it's totally catchy acronym INGOLT. Based on a lot of movie and television watching (mainly McGiver) I pretty much know what is necessary to get you by and out of tough situations. So let's start this off with an easy one...

Got a light?

Not only does a carrying a Zippo make you super-cool, but it can also be a great tool if you are in the cast of Lost. (Unfortunately, you would have to put a lighter in your checked bag. You can not carry a Zippo on a plane.) The obvious reason for a lighter is to be able to produce fire quickly. If you are stranded somewhere and must survive by hunting and gathering you will need it to start fires to cook your hunted and gathered dead animals. Oh, I forgot to mention that by "gathering" I also meant animal base. You may be trying to survive on an island or in a jungle, but that doesn't mean you have to be a pussy and gather berries.

What about after the lighter runs out of lighter fluid?

The best thing to do with a Zippo lighter is to simply open and shut it. Most people who already own one don't often even produce a flame with their Zippo. Try this:

• Lean against a wall (brick if possible...and outside a bar)
• Take the Zippo from your pocket
• Open and close the lighter a few times
• Smirk at chicks walking by (ladies, also look at ladies)
• Put the lighter away
• Repeat

While the previous technique for survival has to do with the survival of being fucking awesome, this does not mean a fluid-less lighter can't help you survive "stranded style."

It is going to be tougher to start a blaze, but you can still use the striking part (the thumb wheel combined with the bit of flint inside) to make a spark. The spark can help you catch dried out paper, plants, or organic matter on fire. That's right. Burn an old dead body if you have to.

This will lead us to a future survival item...

An old dead body

Don't Hate the Player, Hate the Game

This post is inspired by events that take place in Lost, season 1.

At the end of episode 4, John Jock stares at his wheelchair going up in flames with the dead bodies and rotting innards of the Lost group's crashed airplane. Him smiling at the engulfed chair symbolizes his joy of not being limited anymore. He can now walk and no one can tell him what he "can't do."

I have a problem with his emotion over the melting wheelchair. I could not help but think...poor wheelchair. Lock had been crippled and rather than crawl around in the dirt, elbow over elbow, the ol' reliable chair of wheel contraption allowed him to maintain some sort of respect and mobility.

Apparently Phillip II of Spain had a wheelchair made for him in 1595. This invention was truly a tool built for kings! To scoff at Phillip II chair would be an act of dishonor to the king and would surely result in the loss of one's head.

But I understand John. Losing the ability to walk in a world on the move is devastating. You can't dance, kick bums, or go on "Walk-About" trips. It sucks. But consider not being able to even get around. Having to hire someone to carry you is cool for about a week, but then it just gets embarrassing...even if it's a midget. The thing that really takes the cripples' hand and supports them through a tough time is a wheel.

While some views may have watched and cried for Lock's freedom of the chair, I cried for the chairs lack of respect or a thank you. The wheelchair is truly the "Velveteen Rabbit" of the cured.